Week 3 questions were not done, as awash in getting notes on paper, and the Deborah Henson-Conant(DHC) Blues webinar.
The questions for week 4:
1. Am I bored? Not bored, struggled with getting great accompaniments and melody. Felt some success finally just sitting down and putting in a simple harmony/left hand; often just one note, but did if for week 2, 3, and 4, in about 2 hours total including the notation. Now that wasn’t hard. So this question of whether I am bored, gets translated into whether I feel success, as I answer. But this is not completely accurate. As I am not bored when struggling, just immensely frustrated. But in that process, I backed off to a simpler approach. Like backing off when the wind is strong, and you don’t want to sail that quickly. I must remember I am learning, and it just doesn’t lay itself down beautifully from the outset. I am not in raptures, though there are moments where there is an interval or a chord progression or a phrase that I think “that is good, and satisfying”. But then, how to fashion the whole piece with that feeling, is not immediately apparent.
2. The Siren Song - describe your Siren song this week: From what I have gathered on Wikipedia (of course), the Sirens were the muses of the lower world. Their song is indescribably beautiful, being both sweet and sad. Their song is difficult to resist, but if one follows, the result is fatal. Its coincidental that the Sirens lost out in a singing competition to the Muses.
So, back to the question of whether I heard the Sirens during the week. Just reading the description of the Sirens above, I get a sense that the muses of the underworld have long been my familiars. And I have grown to love them and protect them. My personal siren song is about futility, and world weariness, and cynicism, and a desire not to fight those sirens, but to lay down with them, and to keep them as my good friends. Giving in to my sirens, and not balancing against them the outside world; the world that could lay me even lower than the sirens; If I accept the sirens as my own, I have a pact; an understanding about my place in the world; but if I allow myself to try something else, to immerse myself in this year of composition, I risk getting sucked into something worse than the sirens.
An example from my past; The lawsuit that had facts and law that were unassailable (ha, unassailable), that I know was well- presented and superior to the opponent; that I lost; that made a deep impression; disillusioned me forever about the legal system. Why struggle, or bother with facts, presentation, laws with strict consequences. that were ignored by the lower and appellate courts.
So I am fearful of venturing out again in this new sea. To satisfy myself, others. Why do it? I ask myself that about many things. World –weary.
3. The Harpies- I think the Harpies are close relatives of the sirens. And they all torment me with the difficulty and doubt about melody and harmony. Same as last week.
4. SAFE HARBOR: Do you see a safe harbor? What does it look like? Accepting difficulty as part of the process; how trite. But learning how to handle the storms, the choppy water. Is the metaphor going to get tired?
5. OBJECTIVE: Do I have a place I'm heading, or am I just going to let the wind take me today; this week? I just wanted to satisfy the objective to compose 1 tune a week. And I did, but not sure about it.
6. BEING DONE: How did I know it was time to come ashore? I kept trying to head up into the wind closer than comfortable; my boat luffed, and lost speed and direction.
I struggled with the notation on the computer, spending hours trying to get each measure not to self-fill; and one measure I couldn’t enter the full time value of the measure, and I tried and tried; the next day I entered the correct amount of notes in the next measure, and was allowed by Finale to do this; then I deleted the measure that would not allow me to enter the correct number of notes; and it worked; but that was a struggle. I had to stop trying to enter notes the usual way, walk away, and next morning I “outsmarted” the notation fouling; “fouling”: a wind blowing against the direction travel.
7. TIMING: Was there any time of the day I was drawn to do this? Mornings are fresh; not hampered with the overlay of hours of work; And I have been spending hours; much more than the 40 minutes a day; early evening is good, especially when alone, to just push through.
8. HARPIES: What are the mean things I said to myself? I am cheating using 8 bars from last week that I didn’t use, but I liked. It is just pretend Carolan sound, and not that good; but after a week of playing It, it sounds catchy and I wonder how it really stacks up to an objective listener advantage of harp;
9. FUN-TEDIOUS QUOTIENT: If 1 is tedious and 10 is Fun where were you? I’d say tedious this week; just trying to catch up and produce something for the sake of satisfying myself about doing what I set out to do.
10. WHO AM I AS A COMPOSER RIGHT NOW? I am wondering if the 2nd week anthem will be my best for the year. The Harpies and Sirens are enjoying themselves.
Did I do warmups? No, and I miss practicing, but no time.