Re-thinking; I listened to some recordings of the interlude from H + J that I made when I was thinking about how to do the accompaniment. Instead of the 2 against 3, I initially used just simple chords and it was effective. I went down the road of complexity with my 2 against 3, which I still like, but I could have 2 sections of that interlude with the simple chords, and then the more complicated accompaniment; the simple chords present the melody uncluttered with a clear statement of yearning; the 2 against 3 more sinuous, and intense.
The Interlude is haunting, and I am stirred when I play it and hear it. It has depth. Maybe it should be a stand-on-its-own piece. I wanted to compose one “killer” piece this year, and H and J, and the Interlude satisfy me. They satisfy me, and that is enough; that is so much. I did this.
I also listened to the first ending I had liked, but then took another direction. I think I like that first ending better; a little more dramatic, with some gentleness and pensive ambivalence at the end. Also I was surprised to end up liking the transitions, that I had worried were a little concocted.
HYMM, or hmmm…. . I am a doubter, a skeptic about my starting to compose; why? I wanted all the pieces of the puzzle about how to compose to be in place, to be sure I wasn't wasting my time; other people's time; that it would be a credible effort.
Keeping your ears and mind open to every note and rhythmic possibility; it becomes too great a burden; too difficult a task; to winnow and to cull, to know what register the bass chord should be in; whim; at the mercy of the moment.
Compose vs improvise. The intersection of the two, where they veer off from the other, where they are compatible; I am seeing/understanding more how the improvisation part is part of the compose (and even a bit how the compose can lead to improvising). And the difference in sitting down purposely to put something specific on paper, vs, letting the merry little zephyrs of fancy (improv) play away.
I think my self-consciousness about composing, is based on an imprint of efficiency being the master; the marker of what is good. I think only if the composition process follows a smooth path, is it pure, and “blessed”. In other words, no second thoughts because I instinctively knew what worked and expressed what I wanted. But in the process of inefficiency I discover what I want; I do not have a clear idea at the outset; it gets created and made during the process.I inwardly reprove myself for how complicated the process becomes. Where does the expectation that composing is a simple and automatic thing , come from?
She has been faithfully listening to and commenting on my recent postings. And so, was I ever thrilled and excited to see that she had listened to my tune, Henry Ettinger and Jani Klebanow. And she said she’d like to learn the music, and asked, did I sell my music? Did I say I was thrilled? Just that one person, not my mentor, Deborah, whose encouragement makes my heart and brain sing, but one completely objective, person out there, not connected to me, previously unknown individual , loved my composition, enough to want to learn it, and buy it.
All my mewling and whingeing about why I am composing: What is the point of composing?; Am I composing for me or for others? ; Does it matter?; Is it great?; To still these questions, I have resolved that it is alright to proceed for my own accord. BUT THIS ONE PERSON ; some outward validation; this one is enough.
I reached another person.
The simple accompaniment, which reveals the melody in a very different, uncluttered way. It is simpler, more direct, and equally as compelling as the accompaniment below.